slova ira

based on real and imagined life

olfactory for autumn October 24, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 1:58 pm

it smells like the bonfire season of my youth. my four-foot, stringy-haired, fantasy-filled youth.
i’d run around in my mom’s green down jacket from Greenwich Village, or her orange-wool poncho, that I have now. fight with my sister over the best marshmellow roasting-twig. rake piles of leaves, then jump in them and bury myself with them, getting dirt and bugs all over me. at night there were strange campfire hymns that enveloped me. i was warm in the cold. i was safe in the night. there were comforting animal noises and there was chilled-air in my nostrils.

like now, without the leaves, the campfire, the hymns, the animals, the dirt, bugs, marshmellows, the brat-fights, the green down jacket, the running, the falling, the skinning my knees.

now, i don my poncho, and the oversized cozy socks with the stupid rubber lining on the bottom so i don’t skin my knees. drink my instant cocoa, and roast marshmellows on my stove.

i wish i knew a lot of my friends now as they were as young children at a campfire. telling scary stories that really weren’t scary. singing songs in a cacophonic harmony in the firelight.

it smells wonderful out tonight.

 

Dramadramallama October 19, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:55 pm

So I was talking to Joe Frisbee about my life and drama. Mostly self-inflicted drama. I’ve had my share. I’ve also had my share of drama that I stumbled into through no fault of my own. Thing is, I have none. Not now, not recently, of my own. Problem is, everyone else’s drama is always hovering over my drama-free existence. I’ve had several run-ins with this faceless drama – the stuff that is effecting my life but has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. The people involved will remain nameless as not to further incriminate the criminals. I’m not saying my life is perfect. I’ve just made some changes in my life that have seriously decreased the unnecessary shit. Every day used to be so full of drama I wanted to hang myself with it. Myself and you, if you were the culprit.

  1. I don’t care if you have a problem with me. Especially if I don’t know you. This is a very big part of why I don’t have much drama. I don’t care if you judge me, I don’t care if you think I should be more modest, religious, flamboyant and
  2. If I do know you and you have a problem with me, I don’t care unless you confront me. And even then I better fucking be in the wrong.
  3. I don’t feel like I have to do anything I don’t want to do… other than pay bills and go to work. Socially, if I don’t want to hang out, I don’t want to be involved, I don’t and I’m not.
  4. While I may care about your drama, depending on the severity, I realize that I don’t have to be dragged into it. Or deeply personally affected. I will stand up to someone for you if they bad mouth you, I will diss someone because they’re an asshole, but I refuse to be told how to treat someone else that you have a problem with.
  5. I don’t have many enemies – mostly because I am super nice. This helps.
  6. My family realizes I don’t participate in the Family Version of Drama now, and will have nothing to do with arguments, pitting someone against another, but that I also won’t stand for being treated in any way other than a friendly, respectful manner – unless of course, I am being given noogies or being made fun of deservedly.
  7. I screen my calls.
  8. I have a steady boyfriend. Two years now. This is one of the largest reasons for my lack of drama. (DAMMIT! If only he’d cheat on me! Or something! GAWD! I’m not complaining on a serious level here, folks. However, I do think we should “breakupandgetbacktogether” every few months so our friends don’t think we’re so boring. That is what I like to call Faux-Drama.  For the friends. )

Ok. So about #7. I am actually trying not to do this so much. For awhile, it was necessary. Now, I mostly don’t get to the phone because it is at the bottom of my black-hole-of-a-purse, so leave a message.

I’ll post other how-to-have-a-drama-free life steps as I come across them. I’m not being self-righteous. Not completely.  This is a revelation to me. This is the first time ever that I can honestly say I have no problems [this will forever exclude problems that are financial in nature] that own me.  

Now watch:  I’ll get hit by a train or an anvil will fall on me.

This is an unnecessary post. But I am bored at work during lunch. Here’s some stuff about work: My Filing Technique is UNSTOPPABLE!