slova ira

based on real and imagined life

Bishie Japanese Dildos August 31, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:53 pm

Ok. So I admit that I geek out over these dolls. What?  Shut up!  They’re cool!

Fun BJD (Ball-Jointed Doll or Dollfie) Facts from Wiki:

  • 200% of Dollfie collectors will take at least thirty pictures of their prized possession within the first hour of ownership.
  • 95% of Dollfie collectors are batshit insane and beleive that their dolls have souls and personalities of their own.
  • 110% of male Dollfies are bisexual; they are gay for other dolls and straight only for their owners.
  • 90% of male Dollfies are dressed in dresses instead of male clothing, due to the demand for bottoms in doll yaoi and shota.
  • 10% of Dollfie owners wish to marry their doll or consider cheating on their spouse with one.
  • Half of the Dollfie population have Japanese names. The other half have Elvish names.
  • Any time two Dollfie owners are in the same room together, their dolls will be photographed having a hot, resin-covered sexual encounter with each other.
  • Whenever a new limited edition doll is released, collectors will automaticaly sell their older dolls and other worldly possesions so that they may buy it. This is so that they can remain a bigger fan than the other collectors.
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    Common Law Marriage August 30, 2006

    Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 9:18 am

    …is stupid. 

    I was thinking you could just go ahead and get the tax breaks if you’ve lived together for awhile, but you have to have the process legalized by this “three-part test”:

    Q: What makes a common law marriage?

    • A: Three elements must be present to form a common law marriage in Texas.

        First, you must have “agreed to be married.”
        Second, you must have “held yourselves out” as husband and wife. You must have represented to others that you were married to each other. As an example of this, you may have introduced you partner socially as “my husband,” or you may have filed a joint income tax return.
        Third, you must have lived together in this state as husband and wife.

    That’s a test??  Whatever. I’m getting a divorce.


    BHT August 29, 2006

    Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 2:08 pm

    I woke up yesterday morning with BHT. 

    I had just gotten out of the shower. My towel was wrapped around me. I combed my hair. I picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste and lifted the brush to my teeth. They were covered in the darkest, greenest plaque from hell. And my tongue was black. I ran into the bedroom and woke up boyfriend: “What did I eat last night?” “Huh?” “What did I eat? My tongue is black.” Turned the light on. “You didn’t eat dinner. You had a Wal-dryl and 3 Pepto-Bismol tabs.”

    At this point, I didn’t know if I should go to the doctor or what was going on. “Do you feel bad?” “No.” Does your tongue HURT?” “No.”

    Aaron googled “tongue disorders” and “black tongue” and found from multiple resources that it was harmless and usually caused by a high amount of sulphur in the saliva due to drug reaction, dehydration and stress. Well, that’s me in a nutshell. I was deemed well and went to work after brushing my teeth and tongue for about 20 minutes until only the far back of my tongue was discolored.

    I found THIS on Pepto-Bismol’s website! They even mention it!  IT IS SO GROSS!  I can’t believe this happened to me! I am NEVER taking Pepto again!

    I probably didn’t drink enough water. And I had taken a Wal-dryl for my allergies, fallen asleep with a sleepily-chewed tab in my mouth. Ewwww. Ecccchhhh. Blechhh.

    Black. Hairy. Tongue. 



    August 24, 2006

    Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 1:12 pm

    irene update: 

    having amazingly sexy dreams lately.

    new laptop.

    got ticket to see my sister (and i didn’t have to pay for it – double SCORE) and her new baby yesterday.

    2nd fight (will tell about my adventures in extreme fighting in a later entry) went off without a hitch on saturday.

    amazing writing ideas keep coming to me – i just have to write them – (in my mind, i totally rule).

    read motherless brooklyn by jonathan lethem and am reading dry by augusten burroughs.

    saw brick last night (joseph gordon-levitt was at the fight on saturday).

    got ticket for my inspection being out yesterday. now driving boyfriend’s sister’s car until i buy cheap new car next month.

    classes start next monday, orientation this saturday.

    i have been hanging out at epoch a bit, but haven’t really seen my friends much lately. i will get un-busy soonish.

    i weigh too much.

    i’d like to get out of the country on vacation soon, please.

    my ex-roommate just got a job in europe/this makes me jealous.

    i have a post-mod-art tan. unfortunately, no pictures to prove as much. 

    i discovered charlie white.

    i heard, for the first time, of goatse (sp?)/was implored by friends not to view image (or tell my brother that i didn’t know what is was) and only read wikipedia. still goatse virgin. 

    bought breakfast two days in a row for everyone at work. how nice of me.