slova ira

based on real and imagined life

O, the glory that the Lord has made… September 18, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:40 pm

Wisely, I did not participate in the chaos of ACL (Austin City Limits Festival), as much as I could avoid it – what with the traffic in my neighborhood. Every evening was a new adventure merely trying to get to Lamar.
I did, however, manage to see some great acts that rolled through… Junior Boys at Emo’s on Friday night and then Sufjan Stevens on Saturday night. cassiacat calls me with a plus one (and this show has been sold out for quite awhile, and $160 a pop at that!) on Saturday morning. YESYESYES. It was beautimous. My Brightest Diamond played before him (and with him) and they were great – all of them are obviously classically trained which makes me incredibly jealous – new find. I HATECHOO/loveyou!

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There’s a hostage situation… September 8, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 9:17 pm

I spent twenty minutes before leaving work today looking for my lighter.
A few hours later, I received these disturbing pictures on my phone…

Ah, I love my co-workers.

 

Bitch, Please! September 5, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 4:25 pm

From urbandictionary.com:

“BITCH, PLEASE.”

A response used when someone says something stupid or when somebody tries you. 
“I want you to eat me out”. The guy responds, “Bitch please”.

A phrase originally used by pimps in the 70’s used to express disbelief and authority towards one with the audacity to try your ass. Also said to stupid people who dare try you

He says: “I’ll bust yo monkey ass”
You say: “Huh?! Bitch please”
Ho(e) says: “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get no money daddy!”
Pimp slaps her and says: “Bitch please! Now go get me my money!”

Expresses incredulous disgust, usually in reaction to a statement that is incredible, false, or otherwise outrageous. In some cases, it can also be used to repell a minor annoyance such as a ho, a cracker, or especially a tool that won’t step off from all up in your grill.

When used as an adjective, bitch please describes a quality such that one knows the subject is immature, stupid, or takes its outrageousness too seriously, and yet is somehow still viscerally cool. A good example of the feeling one might get from a bitch please situation would be bitch-slapping a motherfucker again and again at a large social gathering, and then finishing the beat-down by fadonking him in front of his grandparents.

Note: because of the origin of bitch please amongst inner-city prostitution rings, it always carries a connotation of violence. If you hear bitch please, somebody is going to get owned.

Example:
A Tool: “Yo, Samuel L. Jackson, will you sign my “Snakes on a Plane” merch? You’re totally sick, homedog. You wanna come chill at my crib?”
Samuel L. Jackson: “Bitch please.”

Expression used when a douche bag says something untrue, unacceptable, or just plain stupid.

“are your titties real?”
“bitch please!”

Back off, mother fucker

When Dan angered Phillip, he said “Bitch Please!”

The phrase said to a bitch/hoe right before u tap dat ass.

Bitch please, get on yo handz and knees… take that shit!

 

The Neice-phew

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:55 pm

From my brother’s MySpace blog: 

The Niecephew  (we didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or girl until she popped it out)

Holy Fucking Shit! Look what my sister did! She made me an Aunt! Let’s take a closer look at the little creature:

In this picture, she is bemoaning the fact that she was, sadly, born illiterate. Also she cannot walk, eat solid food, focus on moving objects, speak intelligibly, or indeed, contribute anything at all to society- unless society is really in desperate need of yellow, liquid poop, and according to the New York Stock Exchange, poop is still the single stupidest stock to invest in.

The poor child is essentially a quadraplegic, in need of constant care and attention, lest she do something to hurt herself. Fortunately, she isn’t even capable of rolling onto her stomach.

But fuckin’ LOOK AT HER! Her name is Julianna, which has already led to some infighting between my sisters and I. Irene and Bekah want to nickname her “Jewels,” which I think is stupid hippie crap, and I want to call er “Julie,” because it’s awesomriffic. In the end, though, everyone will refer to her as “J,” which she will hate. Her middle name is Jason, as it should be.

She’s 7pounds something ounces and 19 inches, making her skinny and long, but she’s too young to be referred to as leggy, so don’t. She looks like her mom, meaning that she was possibly adopted, as well.

I’m proud like I had anything to do with it. I love the little alien-skull baby and I haven’t even met her! She’s awesome! She probably has crime-fighting powers!

 

it’s a girl! September 3, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:18 pm

welcome to the world, juliana! 

xoxo,
uncle irene

ps: too bad you were born illiterate without the ability to walk, so frail…
you know,100% of babies born in America are illiterate.

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!  I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!! fresh young mind for me to poison. we’re gonna spoil this kid rotten.

gotta run to planet k to pick up the cigars!

 

oy ,baby

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 2:48 am

i am trying to stay awake. my sister is having her baby and i am not getting a play-by-play. i now know what sports fans feel like awaiting the big game. i have been waiting for over 7 months and i want to know if it is a boy or girl. i am so excited….ahhhh.. what strangness….