slova ira

based on real and imagined life

The Neice-phew September 5, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 12:55 pm

From my brother’s MySpace blog: 

The Niecephew  (we didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or girl until she popped it out)

Holy Fucking Shit! Look what my sister did! She made me an Aunt! Let’s take a closer look at the little creature:

In this picture, she is bemoaning the fact that she was, sadly, born illiterate. Also she cannot walk, eat solid food, focus on moving objects, speak intelligibly, or indeed, contribute anything at all to society- unless society is really in desperate need of yellow, liquid poop, and according to the New York Stock Exchange, poop is still the single stupidest stock to invest in.

The poor child is essentially a quadraplegic, in need of constant care and attention, lest she do something to hurt herself. Fortunately, she isn’t even capable of rolling onto her stomach.

But fuckin’ LOOK AT HER! Her name is Julianna, which has already led to some infighting between my sisters and I. Irene and Bekah want to nickname her “Jewels,” which I think is stupid hippie crap, and I want to call er “Julie,” because it’s awesomriffic. In the end, though, everyone will refer to her as “J,” which she will hate. Her middle name is Jason, as it should be.

She’s 7pounds something ounces and 19 inches, making her skinny and long, but she’s too young to be referred to as leggy, so don’t. She looks like her mom, meaning that she was possibly adopted, as well.

I’m proud like I had anything to do with it. I love the little alien-skull baby and I haven’t even met her! She’s awesome! She probably has crime-fighting powers!

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