slova ira

based on real and imagined life

ok, i know… February 22, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — slova @ 4:25 pm

that i said i’d moved to wordpress. 

one more.

i just found out that my old friend is engaged. 

i feel sick.

and i feel weird for feeling sick about it. emotionally and physically sick even though we’ve been out of touch for a long time. 
the forefront of my brain says i’m not jealous, but these signs tell me my frontal ain’t working properly. but jealous of WHAT?
i wouldn’t want to marry him, and i am more than ok with not being married. 

maybe it isn’t jealousy. maybe it’s the finality of things that makes me feel awful. 

i tried not to be snarky when i found out, but my response was simply, “mazel tov! when? how exciting and settled.”

i actually said settled.  what is my problem? i am so rude. but i’m annoyed! 

why do people have to grow up? and change? why am i so horrid about keeping in touch with people? 

i am in a bad mood right now.

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