slova ira

based on real and imagined life

meh + feh + poo February 22, 2007

Filed under: friends,kvetching,marriage — slova @ 10:35 pm

i just found out that my old friend is engaged.

i feel sick.

and i feel weird for feeling sick about it. emotionally and physically sick even though we’ve been out of touch for a long time. the forefront of my brain says i’m not jealous, but these signs tell me my frontal ain’t working properly. but jealous of WHAT? i wouldn’t want to marry him, and i am more than ok with not being married. so it’s not that, that’s icky.

maybe it isn’t jealousy. maybe it’s the finality of things that makes me feel awful.

i tried not to be snarky when i found out, but my response was simply, “mazel tov! when? how exciting and settled.”

i actually said settled. what is my problem? i am so rude. but i’m annoyed!

why do people have to grow up? and change? why am i so horrid about keeping in touch with people?

i am in a bad mood right now.